Ego - Friend? Adversary? Upto You?

Ego, maybe a three lettered word, seemingly small, but has deep implications throughout your life. Whether you ignore it or forget it whatsoever, it finds a way to manifest by infesting itself into the very thing that makes us human, i.e., emotions. Emotions are what makes us human but ego enters our emotion disguising itself in the form self respect and feeds itself. We mostly ignore the fact that it is ego that blinds our decision making, and believe that it was our self-respect, that hurts. So this article that you are reading will answer the four most typical questions in context to ego, and by the time you end reading you will have gained complete control over your ego. So, what are the questions we would like to answer?

1.       What is ego?

2.       What is the difference between self respect and ego?

3.       What are the outcomes of being egoistic?

4.       How can ego help you become successful?

5.       When you understand your ego is out of control and how to control it?

So, What Is E-G-O?

In the terms of a common man Ego can be said to be the pride about oneself. Awareness of the self, pride, conceit and ‘i’ness are words related to it. But, from a spiritual perspective, ego means considering oneself to be distinct from others due to self-identification with the physical body and impressions in various centres of the subtle body. In short ego is leading our life as per the thinking that our existence is limited to our 5 senses, mind, and intellect and identifying with them to various degrees. Thoughts such as my body and mind, my intellect, my life, my wealth, my wife and children, I should acquire happiness, etc. arises from ego alone.

Now that you have an idea of what ego is, you will say that ‘i’ness is your identity, your self-respect, but let me remind you E-G-O and self esteem are quite opposite to one another. It seems that your ego happens to be the same and sometimes gets difficult to differentiate. But below mentioned are a few points that will surely help you in getting an insight whether the pinch you are getting is your self-esteem or your ego.

Change in confidence level:

A.       While you are facing a situation where you feel that your self-esteem is being hurted but you can’t decide whether it is surely your esteem or you E-G-O is playing the role of a devil, then just put this parameter to a try. For example: - You are playing a game of chess with an expert who has 10 years of experience, and supposedly you lost. This loss will make you feel that you are not a very good player of the game and you need more practise but you won’t be feeling low of yourself. But if you unfortunately, loose the same game to a boy who is much younger than you but is more creative in his strategies, you feel like you have been smashed to the last bit. That’s the basic difference between your E-G-O an E-S-T-E-E-M. You ego will break your confidence along with itself but your self –respect never breaks because you do not loose your confidence in your abilities.

     Ego causes confusion and insecurity where as respect on self brings stability and assurance:

Another aspect of ego is that it will arise out of confusion and fear within your mind, and will also end in the same effect. On the other hand self-respect comes when one has achieved confidence in his abilities.  The former shall always be in need of something else for comparing itself, but you esteem builds itself on its own, so there remains no way that self respect can breakdown hurting your feelings.

This feeling in self, that he alone is supreme, gives rise to E-G-O. This supreme feeling seems very positive but has huge negative influence over self. Let’s site out a few:

Failure in communicating

A.       Did you see the layer of oil that floats over water but doesn’t mix with it. That exactly what happens with your E-G-O, it forms a shell all over your soul, and you keep on trying to maintain that persona in public, and by the time you loose all your personal characteristics. This subsequently happens to be the biggest misfortunes because you lose your originality this way. When you loose originality you loose mostly everything.

Stagnancy

A.       Life is like a river, neither you can stop nor you can stop the flow. If you do stop, your life becomes dead like the Dead Sea. E-G-O does this same thing for you. It covers you like a thick fat stopping you to bring necessary change to your life.

     Judgement

A.       “Judge not that ye may not be judged. - Christ” For comparison E-G-O needs something to compare. This comparison subsequently gives rise to judgement. This judgement again steps up to compare and comparison again gives rise to judgement and so on, the cycle continues. This cycle boost your ego making you self involved within yourselves, narrowing your vision.

Now, that you know how devastating your ego can be, let see a altogether different side to it. Ego can also act in a positive way if you are able to direct it. Sometimes you may feel in total control, but it already gets too late when you realise that it was not you but your ego on the driver’s seat. But remember, you are the boss, you can direct it to whichever way you want and aim it to shoot towards your positivity, it can also make a revolutionary impact.

Success Driven

A common goal for everyone is to be successful. But a egoistic person is success driven. He heads the way where success is and will not stop until he reaches it. These people are cooperative but competitive and sometimes impulsive

Pushing across limits

 Inventions are invented, businesses are built, cures for diseases are discovered, houses providing warmth and comfort for families, and every modern convenience that makes our lives easier have come about because a whole lot of people had and have egos.

But everything in this world must maintain a balance. Similar is the case when you are directing you Ego. You must keep a vigil check. Seeing whether you are in the correct way or not. If you ever find that you ego is going negative simply follow these steps to bring them into control and direct them again.

Notice the negative ego. Knowing is half the battle. Start trying to catch your negative ego      in the act of spinning tales around what’s happening.

Focus on the facts. Ask yourself, “What’s actually happening right now?”, “Is the trying to        build or destruct?”

 Use your positive ego on your negative ego. You can actually use the tactic of non- judging observation on your negative ego itself. If you’re agitated, simply notice, “What’s happening?” Whatever you observe in yourself–whether it’s judgement, irritation, despair, guilt. You will find an answer to your question.

 Break out your inner nurturing parent. Imagine your negative ego is a young child that is frightened, insecure, or panicked. Give it some unconditional love and compassion. This will give you a dominating lead on it.

So now that you are all aware regarding every aspect of this big pothole and how to climb out of it and use it to you benefit. All thats left is implementing it. Now thats upto you. Just don’t forget to share it with us!!